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 https://www.bible.com/bible/111/JHN.15.2.NIV  

Reflections

Reflecting is not a bad thing.  Now going to the past and dwelling there; that’s a different story.  God gives us memories for a reason.  Some to teach us a lesson;  to learn by.  Some are sad, some are funny, and some are just warm and fuzzy for no reason except to remember and reflect on life...that it was good.  Once upon a time life was warm and life was good.  Sometimes if I shut my eyes when I reflect I can smell things, I can feel little hands inside mine as I remember my kids at various ages in their life...now I hold those tiny hands in my heart where I can take them out and reflect, remember, and never forget.  As Emily prepares for her own adventures as a mother I so want to tell her to slow down and savor every moment!  Even morning sickness, not so pleasant now but one day will be a warm and fuzzy memory of a new life that grew out of love.  When I close my eyes I can feel the pain of the ones I have loved and lost, I can see the anguish on their face but I can also see the sweet release that came when they lost their fight here on earth and joined their heavenly father.  Now thats a warm and fuzzy!  And in the end, if we follow God as he commands we all will welcome that sweet release. 

  2 Corinthians 5:8   To be absent from the body...is to be present with the Lord!   

I guess it is the years end that brings on reflection.  A mark on the calendar; the end of the month of December-the end of the year.  Done with 2015, turn a page and there you have it, all new for 2016...January 1!  A new place to start all fresh and new.  No memories...all new territory.  That is how my life kind of feels like now.  As we put up our tree this year I left all the memories tucked in totes in the garage, we did all new ornaments, all new memories.  But then I realized I don’t want all of my memories in the garage.  So I found myself dragging piece by piece, one at a time, in the house.  Gentle reminders of a beautiful life where love overflowed at not only Christmas but all year long.  I found that you can’t hide those kind of memories away.  They exude out of you everywhere!  When you were-are- loved; people see it!  They feel it!  They know it!  It is almost contagious.  I know there is nothing here on earth that resembles the love Christ has for us, unless it is a mother's love, but when we know love, true love, real love...that’s when Christmas shines through.  That is what Christmas is to me...love.  A love that starts in the heart and gives, not expecting anything in return.  A love that does not question, it just is.  A love that sometimes may trickle a tear down the face just because your heart is so full there is no where else for it to go.  A love that lets you feel the pain and heartache of the one you love.  But to hold on to all the pain is not fair to you, it hinders the way you were meant to live, life to the fullest.  It also hinders the memory of the one you love.  They don’t want to be remembered for the pain that was in their life.  They will want to be remembered for their laughter, their love, they want their life remembered and cherished... not their death.  So as 2015 comes to a close remember this: 

Life is short-live it                                                                                                                                 Love is rare-grab it                                                                                                                             Anger is bad-dump it                                                                                                                            Fear is awful-face it                                                                                                                                Memories are sweet-cherish them                  ----------unknown   

John 3:16  For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

Merry Christmas 2015

This holiday season so far is like every other; hurry, rush, don’t slow down! As I left work last night I was once again in a hurry. We needed all that wonderful bulk stuff from SAM’s; toilet paper, paper towels, laundry detergent, you all know the list! It’s so hard to squeeze anything in during Christmas, even the routine trips for groceries! It, of course, was dark when I stepped out of the satellite clinic in Alderson but the temp was perfect @ 50 degrees and the Christmas lights in that little town were bright, colorful and “twinkly” yeah I know it isn’t a word but now you understand. I wanted to stop and put all my bags down so I could get a picture to share with Michael but I thought, NO! It will take too much time. I barely turned abound to actually enjoy the view myself. About halfway home I could’e kicked myself for not slowing down. I tried to describe it to Michael but you know what they say, A picture is worth a 1000 words. I didn’t have a thousand words! I couldn't do it justice-shiny and twinkly! By the time we finished grocery shopping, got home and put them away, it was close to midnight. All I wanted to do was sit on the couch by the fire with Michael and share my day. So at 11:45p I laid ;my head on his shoulder on the couch by the fire. For about 15 minutes we slowed down, I thought of all that God does for me on a daily basis; sometimes it is overwhelming. This morning, I have tried to set my alarm just a little but earlier to get a headstart. On my way to work I made the curve right before you get to my church-Meadow Grove. I have looked at the church so many times but today as I gazed at the steeple high in the fog and the frosty mountains behind majestically, standing high; I thought of the people inside the church. I thought of their friendships down through the years. Some new relationships some old. I thought of the love and loss that has went through our church. So many people so many years. So much love so much loss. Each one with their own tales, young and old. I want my kids to make memories that one day they will share with their children. One of my favorite is the Christmas play there we put on. Always a manger scene with Mary and Joseph, in never changed. But when you think about it, did it change? For over 2000 years that story has been the same.

Luke 2:10-11 (NIV)

10 But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. 11 Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord.

I can’t imagine the memories she(Mary) had of that day the angel appeared. I know I have my own memories of each one of my children, none like Mary; there were no angels that appeared, but each of them were gifts from God. I prayed and so did Danny, as I am sure did their grandparents. They were not easy pregnancies but in my experience, the best things in life are sometimes hard to come by. And now as an expectant grandmother, I know everything she feels; just as I am sure Mary felt but so much more. God is so good to his children. He wants them to experience everything He has to offer. But sometimes that means there will be growth and with growth that may mean pain. But on the other side of that pain is so much beauty; Beauty for Ashes. He promises….He delivers if we give him time.

Love came down to earth over 2000 years ago and it still comes daily…if we choose to see. Love comes in the face of a new born baby, in the face of a mother and father as they hold their child. The grandmother that has prayed many prayers for her grandchildren. Love is there. The frail and elderly grandfather as he has shared his knowledge, wisdom and yes, love in everything he has passed on to that child….All with love. There is love in the face of a beggar that is cold and alone that dreams of christmas pasts.

1 John 4:8 (NIV)

8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

John 15:12(NIV)

12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.

If you aren’t in the mood or perhaps can’t afford to give the gift you had picked out to give to someone…then choose to give the gift of love. It won’t cost you anything and it is the gift that keeps on giving. Oh and chances are you will get it back, maybe when you least expect it and always when you need it the most. Because thats how God works. Nothing mysterious about it! So when you give a little love this Chirstmas, just know you are sharing God, not Christmas spirit, just Jesus and the love he has for us!

Merry Christmas Ya’ll

Happy thanksgiving!

Post your stories!

Apples from Enola Martin Fitzwater!

Long Time No See!!!

Well can you all believe it?  The holidays are around the corner!  Time changes Sunday!  And life goes on....Our poor little blog has been neglected....I admit I have been a little busy and have failed it miserably.  And I must admit...I have missed it.  I have missed catching up with everyone and what is going on in your lives and your kids lives!  And yes Grandkids...My that just sounds like we are getting old.  Speaking of which...I will be 50 in about a month.  I don't think that makes me old...yet...but it sure is making you guys old!  How is it going to sound for y'all when you tell everyone "My baby sister is 50?"  whew!  Im glad thats not Me!  I know with the colder weather and time change you all are going to have a few extra minutes to spare so let me hear from you all on the blog.  Don't be afraid to post those pictures either!  Love to all....Trish

Gods Will

Trust: Gods Will

Each person, individual, is unique.  You are unique in your appearance.  The way you smile, the way you cry, the way you may twitch your nose, your blue eyes, green eyes, brown eyes, one blue one green!  But we are also unique in how we think, our though process is most often shaped by lives circumstances…I know mine has shaped the way I think.  And many times, more than not, it is FEAR driven.  sometimes I am scared to death to let myself be happy for fear that happiness will be snatched away from me.  Is that living?  Not to the fullest it isn’t!  And did God create us, me, to live in a life of fear waiting for that next tragedy that is going to suck the happiness from my soul?  No He did not but, in my mind, my thought process, this is how I perceive things!

I want to love again and I do.  Everyday I thank God for sending love my way for that 2nd chance; This 2nd chapter of my life.  Sometimes I find myself being normal like everyone else, enjoying life just because.  And then somedays there are these little bumps in the road that to most people are just that…bumps!  But to others who think a little different due to life’s circumstances, these bumps represent mountains that you have already climbed and on the other side it is not what you expected, not what you prayed for but you say well it must’ve been “Gods Will”.  So then why pray?

God is going to do what God wants to do anyway, why should we wear ourselves out begging and pleading for what we know in the pit of our gut is not going to happen anyway.  But we pray anyway….Because it’s what we do.

I prayed for Danny.  Not just here and there but that continual prayer.  I prayed for miracles-THE MIRACLE-healing.  But did I believe it?  In the pit of my gut?  No, I didn’t.  Does that make me a bad person?  Is that why he wasn’t healed?  Because my faith was not what it should’ve been?  Trust me I have been down that road many times.  I remember my sisters praying and they believed.  But not me.  Sometimes I blame that on the medical field knowledge-I knew what the odds were.  I knew the pathology reports, but did I think God couldn’t beat the odds.  Well, in my mind I knew He could, if He wanted.  If it was “Gods Will”.  Sometimes I just don’t understand His Will.  But His ways are higher than ours.  His thoughts higher than ours so should we even try?  I don’t know.  So after that miracle I prayed for didn’t happen, he died, I didn’t, at least not my body; I changed.  I was once again unique-shaped by losing my best friend, my soulmate, my spouse.  My heart was kind of ripped open for a while and as it began to heal I also started putting up these little fences and blockades around my heart, certain areas.  Kind of like the walls of Jericho that Joshua marched around.  Well, I didn’t march around these walls but I certainly have danced around them many times.  Since death stopped at my house, invited himself in and left with part of my heart I have learned to love deeper, harder, stronger; but only where I decided.  Only the walls that I decided… could come down.

Well, then here comes Michael and of course this is unexplored areas of my heart.  Those walls are high, blockaded and barred.  But I so wanted to love so I began to let a little light in through a gate here and there.  Semi living life, still guarding the parts of the heart that gives completely for fear of that visitor, death, coming again.  So in my mind I think I will just not give it all, gonna hold back a little.  That way if anything happens to him like it did Danny, that part of my heart is still sheltered.  Because I just don’t think I could do that again….Well, I could I guess, what choice would I have, but do I want to?  NO!  So therefore I build walls, create a distance, safe distance.  Well how dies that make your mate feel?  Well, lets just say for some, they throw their phone across the room!  Others I’m sure are similar.  Because in marriage you have to give of yourself completely or it just doesn’t work.  And out of fewr you can do some pretty mean things, especially if you feel threatened.  If those places in your heart you are guarding suddenly find themselves laid bare because the walls have crumbled, what then?  You might get hurt?  Yes, but you might also live and love like you have never lived or loved before all because of those same life circumstances.  But now if I find myself in that position again, do I pray?  Do I believe?  Do I have the faith to pray for that miracle?

For the last month I have been getting these words from God, all about His Will.  I long to be in the center of His Will but when it involves losing someone you love I just don’t know if I can pray for it.  As I sat in the bleachers at the civic center at the Extraordinary Womens Conference I listened to Max Lucado talk about the Walls of Jericho and how we need to start tearing down our own walls.  Then I listen as another told about losing her child after birth and how she couldn’t for the longest time pray for a miracle…because He didn’t come through the last time.  He didn’t come through the way we thought He should.  He came through according to His Will, not ours.  His Will is not always the life we think we should have.  His will is the path that we follow no matter where it leads.  We have to trust, a simple 5 letter word, trust that God knows what He is doing; trust that He has a plan, Jeremiah 29:11; trust that the plan He has is in our best interest.  While healing I felt like “yes” I was doing what God wanted me to do.  I felt like I was in Gods will, but I also felt like I was in control… so as long as those two things lined up together?  It’s all good.  But then when I began to lose control but yet God is saying this is my will?  What do I do with that?  Lose control?  Not really an option or at least in my mind anyway.  So here I find myself at that crossroads again, pray for a miracle…but pray for Gods Will too.  Yes, I am trusting that whatever God has planned is best for me.  Trusting that when I pray for that miracle, God hears me and listens to my  prayer.  I know He hears me, He tells me to pray for that miracle, expect, believe and above all else trust Him!  Trust Him with my most prized possessions…those that I love.  Trust Him with the paths we travel, the paths he has already laid out and know that no matter what happens it will work out for my good!

Romans 8:28(KJV)

28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

1 John 2:17New International Version (NIV)

17 The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever.